Stars

正所謂夏天的尾巴，薔蜜過去後，天氣也轉涼了，也讓許多來不及準備衣物的人掃到颱風尾，成為氣溫驟降的受害者。

這一晚，我的睡意淡薄，在床上翻來覆去始終無法入眠，於是下床拿了一件薄外套照在赤膊的身上，出門走走。中壢的天空令人意外，雖然身在市區，但卻往往能看見些許的星星，仰望著秋季的夜空，獵戶座又清晰可見了。

還記得小時候，把天文學家當成志向之一的我，總是利用和父母到書局購買文具、參考書的時候，要求購買星座盤，但每次也在把玩不久後星座盤便消失無蹤，也一次一次的要父母重買。雖然最後還是認得沒幾顆星星，但還是為我的生活注入了幾分精彩，多少次看著獵戶座用毫無倍數可言的望遠鏡尋找獵戶座大星雲，多少次隨著夏季大三角的位置連接出天鵝座的形狀。就這樣在星座盤、幾本簡單的書陪伴下，度過了國中小時期。上了高中，有幸的碰到了火星大接近，也在天文社的某位好友邀請下和社團一起上山觀測、上課。那幾夜，除了偌大的火星，也在不斷落下的流星、土星的卡西尼環縫、光亮異常的天狼星之下，在我記憶中留下了深深的刻痕。

星起星落、日復一日，不知不覺高中三年稍縱即逝，雖然沒有走上天文/天文物理的路，但往往還是會抬頭仰望繁星。而這一晚，微微的涼意透過外套刺向皮膚，我拉著衣襟，目光仍然望向屹立在天空中的獵戶座。同一個人，不同的時、不同的空，仰望著同樣的星空，只覺昨是而今非，過去的熱誠、專注已一去不復返，取而代之的是渾渾噩噩、虛度光陰。

也讓我想起在 Les Misérables 裡面我非常喜歡的一首曲子"Stars"，以往只覺得詞曲動聽，如今卻令我感觸良多，以下節錄一小歌詞：

Stars! in your multitudes
Scarce to be counted
Filling the darkness
With order and light
You are the sentinels
Silent and sure
Keeping watch in the night
Keeping watch in the night
You know your place in the sky
You hold your course
And your aim
And each in your season
Returns and returns
And is always the same
And if you fall
As Lucifer fell
You fall
In flame!

配合著動聽的旋律，也不禁令我思考我的現況

Do I know my place?
What is the target that I'm aiming for?
Am I always the same?

其實這些問題我也無法給自己答案。


附上歌曲及全歌詞


[Les Misérables] 10th anniversary ver. - Stars (Philip Quast as Javert)

There, out in the darkness
A fugitive running
Fallen from God
Fallen from grace
God be my witness
I never shall yield
Till we come face to face
Till we come face to face
He knows his way in the dark
Mine is the way of the Lord
And those who follow the path of the righteous
Shall have their reward
And if they fall
As Lucifer fell
The flame
The sword!
Stars in your multitudes
Scarce to be counted
Filling the darkness
With order and light
You are the sentinels
Silent and sure
Keeping watch in the night
Keeping watch in the night
You know your place in the sky
You hold your course
And your aim
And each in your season
Returns and returns
And is always the same
And if you fall
As Lucifer fell
You fall
In flame!
And so it must been and so it is written
On the doorway to paradise
That those who falter
And those who fall
Must pay
The price
Lord, let me find him
That I may see him
Safe behind bars
I will never rest
Till then
This I swear
This I swear by the stars!